Wow, I can't believe it's been a month since I last posted. My mind is all over the place right now, so many different projects.
I started school again. I'm so close to finishing my degree, but senoritis is already kicking in. I've decided to finish out my final year giving the most minimal amount of effort to pull of As and Bs. So far, I've been pretty successful. I'm about to start my more difficult courses, so I think I may have to kick it up a notch or too.
Next, on the big news list: my husband just informed me that he's taking me to Europe for my birthday and our anniversary. We're going to Rome, Paris, and Amsterdam...you bet your ass we're hitting up the cafes and red light district.
What's also exciting is that I get to see a real live Parisian cabaret performance. I'm sure I'll get tons of ideas for my burlesque act.
Lately, I've been doing a bunch of research on this dance genre. I'm finding it so much fun to incorporate all my knowledge of dance into my act. It's like being in college all over again. I missed this feeling, but this time there are definitely no limits in regards to provocative level. Which I LOVE!
Things at the club have been interesting for me lately. I promise I'll start to give more detail about all the art and bullshit. One thing though: last week I received the best compliment I've gotten in a long time, maybe ever. A customer tipped me and said "thank you for keeping the art alive." It's nice to know that there are people out there who definitely appreciate what we do....beyond providing wanking material ;)
Friday, June 22, 2012
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
Story Time: Nothing Beats a Little Mother/Daughter Bonding
So I think it's time to tell this story...in honor of Mother's Day (as sick and twisted as it is) this past week.
A long, long time ago when I was a baby stripper doing private parties my partner Rene and I hit the JACKPOT one weekend. 4 parties. F*ck yeah. When you expect about $300 bare minimum, after expense, for each party that comes out to a definite grand (at least). Also, the company we worked for would be paying for some of our gas and our hotel for one night (due to the distance and times of the parties)...If any of you have ever worked private parties through a company before, you know this was too good to be true. Well it was.
What was supposed to be 2 parties on Friday, 1 on Saturday, and 1 on Sunday turned to 3 parties on Friday. That's it. Ok, a little stressful, but completely manageable. We basically had a 1.5 hour limit on each then we had to book it to the next one.
The first party was about an hour and a half away. It was Friday and Rene and I did our usual routine of hanging out, watching movies, and making friendship bracelets before we left. On our way we stopped at Dunkin Donuts and got our iced coffees. Right as we were getting in her car we get a call from the company letting us know that there was going to be another dancer coming to the party, and that only one of us could do it. Because we both had to go to the other parties though, one of us had to sit out the first party. Thanks to senority, I was the chosen one. Oh well, I still two more parties after that.
When we got to this bar we were approached by the best man (the guy throwing the party) and he asked us where our other girl was. We were confused because we were told the party was 2 dancers, but they were expecting 3 *Gotta love reliability in this biz* This was possibly good news for me, because turns out I would be able to dance :)
He brings us inside to the bathroom and we start to get ready. Then TWO women, one older and one younger, both had black hair with blue streaks, walk in the door completely pissed. They were about 45 minutes late because they were given the wrong address. Wait....back up, TWO dancers? (Guess I'm out...again). Well, not only were they pissed about the address thing, they were completely confused. Turns out the company never told them that it was a 3 girl show...they thought they were the only ones. Awesome.
Again, because of senority I had to sit this one out. But turns out that they two other chicks had another party and had to jet in about 30 minutes. Which was great because that still gave me 15 minutes at the end to do the girl-on-girl show with Rene...that's where we made our $$$.
When Rene and I finally get a moment alone she informs me that she's met these girls before and then tells me they are mother and daughter. Which in itself is crazy for the fact that they work TOGETHER. I've heard of mothers and daughters working at the same club at different times...But these women did private parties and they did them TOGETHER! *gag*.
So they all dance as I sit and chat up this Cali-Surfer-Blonde boy wearing a Pink Floyd shift (Swoon!). Then, way sooner than I expect the girls stop. Rene informs me that they're gonna do a girl-on-girl show than peace out...WAIT. WHAT? Not only am I shocked at the news, but also at the fact that Rene doesn't seem totally weirded out by this *I felt like I was taking crazy pills*.
They begin there show. Here's where I'm going to leave out the details...let's just say I had 3 weeks of random spasms from being so traumatized. PTSD = Post Traumatic Stripper Disorder.
After they left we informed the guys. Needless to say they were so relieved I started dancing, and so pissed that they actually thought that was hot for 15 whole minutes...even though I'm sure there had to be at least one guy who still dug it :p
Rene and I do our girl on girl show and jet off to our next party. Which turns out to be halfway decent, but we have to leave right at the end of the hour to get to the third party. That ends up being a scam from the company. Yeah, Rene never informed me that she pissed off the company two weeks back and this was probably them getting back at her. They gave us a fake address and sent us way out of our way...and wouldn't you know it...they didn't pay for our gas because we meet our obligations...
One thing did come from that weekend though, a memory that will be forever scarred in my brain...and I mean scarred.
A long, long time ago when I was a baby stripper doing private parties my partner Rene and I hit the JACKPOT one weekend. 4 parties. F*ck yeah. When you expect about $300 bare minimum, after expense, for each party that comes out to a definite grand (at least). Also, the company we worked for would be paying for some of our gas and our hotel for one night (due to the distance and times of the parties)...If any of you have ever worked private parties through a company before, you know this was too good to be true. Well it was.
What was supposed to be 2 parties on Friday, 1 on Saturday, and 1 on Sunday turned to 3 parties on Friday. That's it. Ok, a little stressful, but completely manageable. We basically had a 1.5 hour limit on each then we had to book it to the next one.
The first party was about an hour and a half away. It was Friday and Rene and I did our usual routine of hanging out, watching movies, and making friendship bracelets before we left. On our way we stopped at Dunkin Donuts and got our iced coffees. Right as we were getting in her car we get a call from the company letting us know that there was going to be another dancer coming to the party, and that only one of us could do it. Because we both had to go to the other parties though, one of us had to sit out the first party. Thanks to senority, I was the chosen one. Oh well, I still two more parties after that.
When we got to this bar we were approached by the best man (the guy throwing the party) and he asked us where our other girl was. We were confused because we were told the party was 2 dancers, but they were expecting 3 *Gotta love reliability in this biz* This was possibly good news for me, because turns out I would be able to dance :)
He brings us inside to the bathroom and we start to get ready. Then TWO women, one older and one younger, both had black hair with blue streaks, walk in the door completely pissed. They were about 45 minutes late because they were given the wrong address. Wait....back up, TWO dancers? (Guess I'm out...again). Well, not only were they pissed about the address thing, they were completely confused. Turns out the company never told them that it was a 3 girl show...they thought they were the only ones. Awesome.
Again, because of senority I had to sit this one out. But turns out that they two other chicks had another party and had to jet in about 30 minutes. Which was great because that still gave me 15 minutes at the end to do the girl-on-girl show with Rene...that's where we made our $$$.
When Rene and I finally get a moment alone she informs me that she's met these girls before and then tells me they are mother and daughter. Which in itself is crazy for the fact that they work TOGETHER. I've heard of mothers and daughters working at the same club at different times...But these women did private parties and they did them TOGETHER! *gag*.
So they all dance as I sit and chat up this Cali-Surfer-Blonde boy wearing a Pink Floyd shift (Swoon!). Then, way sooner than I expect the girls stop. Rene informs me that they're gonna do a girl-on-girl show than peace out...WAIT. WHAT? Not only am I shocked at the news, but also at the fact that Rene doesn't seem totally weirded out by this *I felt like I was taking crazy pills*.
They begin there show. Here's where I'm going to leave out the details...let's just say I had 3 weeks of random spasms from being so traumatized. PTSD = Post Traumatic Stripper Disorder.
After they left we informed the guys. Needless to say they were so relieved I started dancing, and so pissed that they actually thought that was hot for 15 whole minutes...even though I'm sure there had to be at least one guy who still dug it :p
Rene and I do our girl on girl show and jet off to our next party. Which turns out to be halfway decent, but we have to leave right at the end of the hour to get to the third party. That ends up being a scam from the company. Yeah, Rene never informed me that she pissed off the company two weeks back and this was probably them getting back at her. They gave us a fake address and sent us way out of our way...and wouldn't you know it...they didn't pay for our gas because we meet our obligations...
One thing did come from that weekend though, a memory that will be forever scarred in my brain...and I mean scarred.
A Few of My Favorite Things
I like to think I'm a positive person...I also like to think that we all decide how we want to feel about anything.
In school this week, in my management course, we are discussing job satisfaction. Go figure I scored higher than almost anybody...
As a theme for the week I'm going to list My Favorite Things about STRIPPING (in no particular order)
1. Cute outfits and fun makeup? Yes, please.
2. I think shoes deserve their own number...unlimited potential, reasonably priced, tax deductible, and oh yeah....no woman will understand heel comfort until she's slapped on some Ellie's (I could run a f*cking marathon in those)
3. Flexible schedule.
4. Independent contractors...not employees.
5. My job is a breeze. I get to hang out, dance, and get paid. I can also drink beer if I want to...try doing that at ANY other job.
6. I get paid to Dance! I spent my life training in dance along with hundreds of other girls...most of those girls had to quit because they couldn't make a living.
7. I get paid to workout. I don't have to worry about gaining weight on this job. Almost every stripper I've met eats junk food and still manages to look sexy.
8. Planning vacations and not worrying about the financial aspect, or the time-off work aspect...Done and done.
9. I have enough free time to be improving my life beyond my job. So many people spend their time working and resting... not realizing that if they want to get ahead in life there needs to be more beyond that.
10. When I get home I get to take a hot shower or bath, counting a ton of cash, pig out, and watch tv with my kitty or cuddle in bed with my Hubby...best feeling ever.
11. Every day I get to meet new and interesting people. Sometimes I know that I do make a difference in someone's life...a lot of times people are looking for connection to other human beings. It doesn't have to be sexual, but if the person is hot it doesn't hurt ;)
12. Did I mention I can drink beer? Oh yes, number 5...well I think this deserves two numbers :)
13. I get tipped really well sometimes for knowing the most random crap...finally my "useless" knowledge isn't so useless after all.
14. The girls I work with are so awesome. Everyone has such an interesting story...the crazy ones are great too!
15. I love how there is so much acceptance in a strip club...yes, you hear those cautionary tales of the veteran girls tormenting the newbies. But, besides that, almost anyone can walk in, be themselves, and I'm sure everyone in there has met someone crazier than you :p
16. Random music. I love hearing random songs girls pick out. Sometimes some great ones you forget about.
17. New music. It's nice knowing a lot of music, in a lot of different genres.
18. The fact that you can basically tolerate a little amount of clothing in cold weather...great training for Halloween!
19. Birthdays! I can't wait to have my birthday party at the club! Themed parties with hot girls working to make you more money! How could I not be stoked? We have a ton of birthdays coming up at my club.
20. If a customer makes me upset, I don't have to "serve" them (like I would in a restaurant). I can simply walk away (which is exactly how I handle almost EVERY situation...it's better not to start sh*t with drunk customers).
That's all for now...I'll add more to it later!
In school this week, in my management course, we are discussing job satisfaction. Go figure I scored higher than almost anybody...
As a theme for the week I'm going to list My Favorite Things about STRIPPING (in no particular order)
1. Cute outfits and fun makeup? Yes, please.
2. I think shoes deserve their own number...unlimited potential, reasonably priced, tax deductible, and oh yeah....no woman will understand heel comfort until she's slapped on some Ellie's (I could run a f*cking marathon in those)
3. Flexible schedule.
4. Independent contractors...not employees.
5. My job is a breeze. I get to hang out, dance, and get paid. I can also drink beer if I want to...try doing that at ANY other job.
6. I get paid to Dance! I spent my life training in dance along with hundreds of other girls...most of those girls had to quit because they couldn't make a living.
7. I get paid to workout. I don't have to worry about gaining weight on this job. Almost every stripper I've met eats junk food and still manages to look sexy.
8. Planning vacations and not worrying about the financial aspect, or the time-off work aspect...Done and done.
9. I have enough free time to be improving my life beyond my job. So many people spend their time working and resting... not realizing that if they want to get ahead in life there needs to be more beyond that.
10. When I get home I get to take a hot shower or bath, counting a ton of cash, pig out, and watch tv with my kitty or cuddle in bed with my Hubby...best feeling ever.
11. Every day I get to meet new and interesting people. Sometimes I know that I do make a difference in someone's life...a lot of times people are looking for connection to other human beings. It doesn't have to be sexual, but if the person is hot it doesn't hurt ;)
12. Did I mention I can drink beer? Oh yes, number 5...well I think this deserves two numbers :)
13. I get tipped really well sometimes for knowing the most random crap...finally my "useless" knowledge isn't so useless after all.
14. The girls I work with are so awesome. Everyone has such an interesting story...the crazy ones are great too!
15. I love how there is so much acceptance in a strip club...yes, you hear those cautionary tales of the veteran girls tormenting the newbies. But, besides that, almost anyone can walk in, be themselves, and I'm sure everyone in there has met someone crazier than you :p
16. Random music. I love hearing random songs girls pick out. Sometimes some great ones you forget about.
17. New music. It's nice knowing a lot of music, in a lot of different genres.
18. The fact that you can basically tolerate a little amount of clothing in cold weather...great training for Halloween!
19. Birthdays! I can't wait to have my birthday party at the club! Themed parties with hot girls working to make you more money! How could I not be stoked? We have a ton of birthdays coming up at my club.
20. If a customer makes me upset, I don't have to "serve" them (like I would in a restaurant). I can simply walk away (which is exactly how I handle almost EVERY situation...it's better not to start sh*t with drunk customers).
That's all for now...I'll add more to it later!
My Stripper Bag
I believe that there is no such thing as being over prepared. Because I started stripping at private parties, and then traveling a few hours to dance in clubs I had to be ULTRA prepared. A couple weeks ago one of the girls came up to ask me for some Neosporin in front of a manager. We got to talking and the manager actually applauded me on how prepared I really am...So for those of you who want to know, this is what's in my stripper bag/locker:
Locker:
*deodorant, foot spray, perfumes, and body sprays (for that fresh STRIPPER smell <3)
*hand sanitizer
*scotch tape (TIP: removes glitter from your skin!)
*baby wipes!!!
*Lysol spray
Big bag:
*Blanket (to sit on in the dressing room...it can also get cold back there)
*Book, ipod, Mini notepad and pens (to leave love notes)
*straightener and/or curler
*slippers, fuzzy socks, or something else comfy for my feet
*golf ball (for massaging my feet)
*any clothes I am bringing home/back for cleaning
*change purse (to carry my stuff around when I feel like it)
Makeup Bag:
*foundation, green concealer (reduces redness)
*make up sponges and brushes (including combination eyebrow and eyelash comb), tweezers
*mini scissors, mini sewing kit (with safety pins), super glue
*neosporin, bandaids, new skin
*extra extra tampons
*eyeshadows and eyeliners (liquids and pencils)
*eyedrops (makeup can give you bloodshot eyes....stoner eyes aren't sexy)
*hairspray, vaseline, lotion,
*mascara, fake eyelashes, eyelash glue, little nail gems (glue them on your eyes or eyebrows with eyelash glue..PRETTY!)
*GLITTER!
*comb, brush, hair clips, bobby pins, hair ties (I will put my hair up at the end of the night sometimes...guys seem to like this after they've seen you with your hair down all night)
*jewelry
*dental floss and peppermint oil (helps get rid of headaches and bad breath!)
*lemon oil (for break outs), lavender oil (for razor burn), arnica oil (for bruises)...I like natural stuff
*lipsticks and lipgloss
I buy travel sizes for the stuff I carry around... that way I only end up carrying a small tote and a makeup bag...I'm like the Mary F*cking Poppins of the stripper world.
Locker:
*deodorant, foot spray, perfumes, and body sprays (for that fresh STRIPPER smell <3)
*hand sanitizer
*scotch tape (TIP: removes glitter from your skin!)
*baby wipes!!!
*Lysol spray
Big bag:
*Blanket (to sit on in the dressing room...it can also get cold back there)
*Book, ipod, Mini notepad and pens (to leave love notes)
*straightener and/or curler
*slippers, fuzzy socks, or something else comfy for my feet
*golf ball (for massaging my feet)
*any clothes I am bringing home/back for cleaning
*change purse (to carry my stuff around when I feel like it)
Makeup Bag:
*foundation, green concealer (reduces redness)
*make up sponges and brushes (including combination eyebrow and eyelash comb), tweezers
*mini scissors, mini sewing kit (with safety pins), super glue
*neosporin, bandaids, new skin
*extra extra tampons
*eyeshadows and eyeliners (liquids and pencils)
*eyedrops (makeup can give you bloodshot eyes....stoner eyes aren't sexy)
*hairspray, vaseline, lotion,
*mascara, fake eyelashes, eyelash glue, little nail gems (glue them on your eyes or eyebrows with eyelash glue..PRETTY!)
*GLITTER!
*comb, brush, hair clips, bobby pins, hair ties (I will put my hair up at the end of the night sometimes...guys seem to like this after they've seen you with your hair down all night)
*jewelry
*dental floss and peppermint oil (helps get rid of headaches and bad breath!)
*lemon oil (for break outs), lavender oil (for razor burn), arnica oil (for bruises)...I like natural stuff
*lipsticks and lipgloss
I buy travel sizes for the stuff I carry around... that way I only end up carrying a small tote and a makeup bag...I'm like the Mary F*cking Poppins of the stripper world.
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Stripper Ettiquette
I want to put together a stripper ettiquette book. Girls (and guys) send me some of your stripper ettiquette!
Exhaustion
Strapping on 7 inch heels, plastering on makeup, squeezing into tiny booty shorts, and flat ironing your hair like you used to in middle school can get exhausting. Add in anywhere from 8-9-30 sets a night and you will be more tired and achy than you thought possible. Then...think about the drama, the excitement, the boredom, and the endless amounts of smiles and "thank yous". You have yourself a recipe of breakdown.
Everyone in the business goes through it. When you have to take a couple weeks off simply for recovery. Lately when I have to pick something up off the ground, I feel like I need a cane to get back up. I have knots in the my feet that would make a grown man cry. And to add to that I started my period this week.
I left my typical long shift early tonight because I was literally about to fall asleep walking to the stage. I could barely keep my eyes open. I don't think I've ever felt this tired in my life...and I was a dance major in college!
I have changed my schedule once again, which is now just 3 days a week. I'm off four days in a row now too. This may be a needed temporary change in schedule for my sanity...the other one someone called me "jaded" for the first time. Eeek!
Everyone in the business goes through it. When you have to take a couple weeks off simply for recovery. Lately when I have to pick something up off the ground, I feel like I need a cane to get back up. I have knots in the my feet that would make a grown man cry. And to add to that I started my period this week.
I left my typical long shift early tonight because I was literally about to fall asleep walking to the stage. I could barely keep my eyes open. I don't think I've ever felt this tired in my life...and I was a dance major in college!
I have changed my schedule once again, which is now just 3 days a week. I'm off four days in a row now too. This may be a needed temporary change in schedule for my sanity...the other one someone called me "jaded" for the first time. Eeek!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Hello Again
Been MIA for a few days...starting school this next week, finding another PT job (don't worry, I'm not leaving the world of glitter and boobies!), and trying to figure out a bunch of other bullsh*t (good and bad) in my life.
This past week at the club has been FANTASTICAL for Kiki :D Good money, good people, good times! That's really all there is to say. Nothing too exciting happened for me and some of the drama that was happening at the club seemed to have subsided (though I try not to get involved anyway). I've been bonding more with the girls lately and loving them more and more.
Thank you for everyone for being so kick-ass and I'll have some more exciting posts for you all soon!
P.S. I'm now on Twitter, so follow me! Just look for Kiki :)
This past week at the club has been FANTASTICAL for Kiki :D Good money, good people, good times! That's really all there is to say. Nothing too exciting happened for me and some of the drama that was happening at the club seemed to have subsided (though I try not to get involved anyway). I've been bonding more with the girls lately and loving them more and more.
Thank you for everyone for being so kick-ass and I'll have some more exciting posts for you all soon!
P.S. I'm now on Twitter, so follow me! Just look for Kiki :)
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Tax Write Offs
It's everyone's favorite time of year! I just filed my 2010 tax return and started working on my taxes for 2011. For the first time the majority of my income will come from self-employment. Things can get tricky. I went with a butt-load of questions for the tax guy. After 5 hours at H&R Block I've gotten all my bullsh*t straightened out.
You know you have an awesome job when you can write off dance classes, makeup, shoes, and lingerie*...just sayin'
*Do not take my word for anything related to taxes. Please speak to a professional about your individual taxes. I don't want to be held accountable for other people's crap...my own is hard enough
You know you have an awesome job when you can write off dance classes, makeup, shoes, and lingerie*...just sayin'
*Do not take my word for anything related to taxes. Please speak to a professional about your individual taxes. I don't want to be held accountable for other people's crap...my own is hard enough
Story Time: My First Real Encounter with the Police AKA My First Private Party
I'm going to attempt to make this long story short.
Once upon a time, before my stripping days I was dating this as*hole guy who controlled my every move in life. Luckily one day, I woke up from the nightmare that was my life and dumped the tool. There were a select few good things that came out of that relationship, and one of them was that he introduced me to Rene*. Rene was a stripper that only did private parties (there were no clubs in the area where we lived).
Rene had asked me a couple times while I was dating this d-bag to strip with her (of course he would never let me...he was too insecure). Well, when I finally became a single lady, you bet your as* I was eager to learn more about the mystery world of naked, dancing ladies. I had always been fascinated by the concept...it was now or never.
I went to watch a show first to make sure that it was something I wanted to do. I decided it was a GO and the next step was to wait for Rene to get a party booked through her company. Well, it was a slow time of year and the company wasn't sending her any business (I also have an inkling that she was on bad terms for a few weeks cause her "relationship" with the company owner was questionable). She happened to stumbled upon an ad on Craigslist for a new company in the area. We decided to check it out and go on an "interview".
We showed up at this kid's house (he was about 20 years old) and he explained to us what he was trying to do. He sounded like he knew what he was doing, but looking back I know now that he had no f*cking clue. The company was going to be having an Opening Party to introduce all of the dancers. It was supposed to be "low key, at his house, with just a few of his friends."
Two days later, we got a Facebook invite for the party, along with 6,000 other people. One of the invitees was my lovely ex who happened to be "the coolest guy in town". Awesome. I was so worried about him being there that I didn't even think about the fact that there could be at least 20 other people there that I knew. I was so excited about dancing for the first time that I didn't care though. I was going to do it anyway.
When we showed up to the party there was one other dancer there. She went by Lo, and she was a lot of fun...in that crazy stripper kind of way. One thing I remember about her dancing was that she would yell sexual things in Spanish when she'd give guys lap dances. Genius.
There was also about 30 people, including one of my managers at my current waitressing job and a girl I went to high school with who has the biggest mouth in the world. Within 10 minutes of arriving I was getting text messages from random people asking if it was true that I was a stripper...I said no, because technically I wasn't yet.
There was also about 30 people, including one of my managers at my current waitressing job and a girl I went to high school with who has the biggest mouth in the world. Within 10 minutes of arriving I was getting text messages from random people asking if it was true that I was a stripper...I said no, because technically I wasn't yet.
We went into the "company owner's" bedroom. As he let us in he told us that it was our room for the night and we could do whatever we wanted to in there. Rene joking said, "so good, we can shoot up heroin.**" Lo suggested that we should dress up in cute dresses before going out in lingerie to strip, to warm up the crowd. Rene and I went along with it.
We went out to the room and sat on the guys' laps and chatted them up for about 5-10 minutes. After that we went back to the room to get ready to strip....HERE WE GO! Just then, we hear a banging on the front door. It was the police. They went around carding everyone (and gave out a few underage drinking tickets) and then asked everyone to clear out of the house because they were going to bring the K9 in. Turns out that in the group of 30 people, there were 6 under cover cops (a little overkill?) and had heard Rene's comment about heroin.
Everyone was standing out of the house as the dogs were brought in. I decided to spend my time flirting with the newbie cop...it was the first time these cops had ever seen strippers I'm assuming. The cops finally called us 3 dancers in the house because they had a hit on one of our bags. Turns out the only hit they got was for a LEGAL prescription. They arrested the "company owner" for "selling liqour without a license" (he had charged people $5 at the door to cover the keg and our base pay - he ended up not getting charged with anything in the long run).
So after most of the people left, including the "company owner", there were about 10 guys left. They asked us if we were still up to do the show and we all were down. It lasted about 45 minutes and I made $110 that night. It was the most fun/crazy night I had ever had (up until that point, that is). After that, I was hooked...WHAT A RUSH!
*Rene was her stripper name of course. I don't want to post her real name because I will eventually tell you some CRAZY stories about her, and of course I don't have her permission :p
**Obviously this makes no sense for strippers...everyone knows the drug of choice is either coke or molly (I've never done either and don't plan on it)
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
A Little Bit of Research...
One thing that I've been trying to research for a while now is the history of exotic dancing. Due to the secretive lifestyle of the sex industry there is very little on it though. Granted, I haven't done too much work outside the internet on trying to find more information. I guess I have to go a little further...beyond Google and Wikipedia.
Man, if only my $80,000 college degree in dance would have covered it...just a tad ;)
I think learning history is one of the best ways of understanding the present and the future. I know for sure that exotic dancing has taken a drastic turn in the last 10, 15, 20 years...thank you Motley Crue :p
Man, if only my $80,000 college degree in dance would have covered it...just a tad ;)
I think learning history is one of the best ways of understanding the present and the future. I know for sure that exotic dancing has taken a drastic turn in the last 10, 15, 20 years...thank you Motley Crue :p
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Origins of Pole Dancing?
I don't know exactly where it all started, but I do know whenever I hear people say that men aren't flexible or graceful enough to pole dance I say they're full of sh*t!
True athleticism. I wonder if this is where it all started...
True athleticism. I wonder if this is where it all started...
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Colors that Matter
In Diary of an Angry Stripper, she mentions that a fellow dancer once told her "the only colors that matter in stripping are clear and black". She added neon to the list.
I'm going to add white, and metallic. White, because nothing says 'stripper virgin' like a white t-back and shoes. And metallic, because well, metallic f*cking rocks. I am currently obsessed with my new chrome shoes with my turquoise metallic two piece outfit...pictures to come soon.
I'm going to add white, and metallic. White, because nothing says 'stripper virgin' like a white t-back and shoes. And metallic, because well, metallic f*cking rocks. I am currently obsessed with my new chrome shoes with my turquoise metallic two piece outfit...pictures to come soon.
Only a Stripper can Break an ATM
Apparently you can overload an ATM Depository... I broke my bank's ATM the other day. No, I didn't try to put all $300 in 1s all at once.
April Fool's Day
I came in on Sunday and told the girls I was going to change my stage name for the night, they all played along too....I went by Felony (my husband came up with that). Here's a list of the other names for that night:
Viagra
Trojan
The Reverse Cowgirl
Bruce
LaFonda
Mrs. Robinson
Gotta love how strippers entertain themselves. Honestly, I don't think many of the customers even realized...but we thought it was f*cking hilarious.
Viagra
Trojan
The Reverse Cowgirl
Bruce
LaFonda
Mrs. Robinson
Gotta love how strippers entertain themselves. Honestly, I don't think many of the customers even realized...but we thought it was f*cking hilarious.
Highs and Lows
Last night was my new record low. After buying myself dinner, buying a pair of booty shorts from one of the older girls who had quit, and tip out I made a whopping $22! (For those of you interested in the math, that comes out to a little over $3 an hour).
It's all good, some girls last night didn't even make tip out and didn't come home with lime green booty shorts (which I'm totally excited about, btw). And I believe most the other girls spent all their income on booze.
This nice weather we've been having has been killing my income the past week...Seems like people are way less interested in boobies if there are barbecues to attend.
It's all good, some girls last night didn't even make tip out and didn't come home with lime green booty shorts (which I'm totally excited about, btw). And I believe most the other girls spent all their income on booze.
This nice weather we've been having has been killing my income the past week...Seems like people are way less interested in boobies if there are barbecues to attend.
Assholes
The other night is a good example of the type of asshole I hate dealing with....
There I am, dancing to my favorite set of music ("Closer" from Kings of Leon, followed by "Sail" from Awolnation) when these guys sit down at the end of my stage. The first thing that comes out of this kid's mouth was "and what's your degree in?" (with a very condescending tone). I respond "finance" as I pretend to fondle my tits (we're not supposed to really, so we "fake" it). He looks with that smug look that says "yeah, sure".
He's got $1 down at this point, his buddy has $2 and his other friend has nothing in front of him. When I go to the other side of the stage to dance for this nice guy, the as*hole waves his phone in front of me and says "I've been video taping you this whole time" (I knew he wasn't because he had a POS phone that didn't even have a camera on it). I crawl over to him and say "if you want to get kicked out, keep joking around". He then said something as I got up to walk away, but I ignored him. I went and stood at the pole and stared (actually it was more of a glare) at him for the rest of the song. At the end of the set I grabbed my $3 from them and gave them a "thumbs up"*.
Afterward, a dancer told me he said I pissed him off and interrupted him in the middle of a text, and that's why he said that.
A. I did nothing wrong, until he told me he was video taping me. At which point, I did what I should have done and ignored him.
B. I did not interrupt him, because I never started a conversation with him...he started it with me.
C. Why the hell would someone sit at a girls' stage and spend their time texting their buddies? Either they're assholes, are trying to get drugs, or gay...my guess is all three for this guy.
The bouncers spoke to him about harassing the dancers, but he was not asked to leave. Later in the night he said something to one of the other girls and made her cry... he was immediately kicked out. Even though he should have been asked to leave earlier in the night, I'm so grateful for the bouncers at times like these. I gave the bouncer a hug later and said "thank you".
*Giving "thumbs up" is a great way to confuse people that have pissed you off...most people get angry when you flip them off, but when you give a good "thumbs up" they have to idea how to react. I recommend doing this while driving.
There I am, dancing to my favorite set of music ("Closer" from Kings of Leon, followed by "Sail" from Awolnation) when these guys sit down at the end of my stage. The first thing that comes out of this kid's mouth was "and what's your degree in?" (with a very condescending tone). I respond "finance" as I pretend to fondle my tits (we're not supposed to really, so we "fake" it). He looks with that smug look that says "yeah, sure".
He's got $1 down at this point, his buddy has $2 and his other friend has nothing in front of him. When I go to the other side of the stage to dance for this nice guy, the as*hole waves his phone in front of me and says "I've been video taping you this whole time" (I knew he wasn't because he had a POS phone that didn't even have a camera on it). I crawl over to him and say "if you want to get kicked out, keep joking around". He then said something as I got up to walk away, but I ignored him. I went and stood at the pole and stared (actually it was more of a glare) at him for the rest of the song. At the end of the set I grabbed my $3 from them and gave them a "thumbs up"*.
Afterward, a dancer told me he said I pissed him off and interrupted him in the middle of a text, and that's why he said that.
A. I did nothing wrong, until he told me he was video taping me. At which point, I did what I should have done and ignored him.
B. I did not interrupt him, because I never started a conversation with him...he started it with me.
C. Why the hell would someone sit at a girls' stage and spend their time texting their buddies? Either they're assholes, are trying to get drugs, or gay...my guess is all three for this guy.
The bouncers spoke to him about harassing the dancers, but he was not asked to leave. Later in the night he said something to one of the other girls and made her cry... he was immediately kicked out. Even though he should have been asked to leave earlier in the night, I'm so grateful for the bouncers at times like these. I gave the bouncer a hug later and said "thank you".
*Giving "thumbs up" is a great way to confuse people that have pissed you off...most people get angry when you flip them off, but when you give a good "thumbs up" they have to idea how to react. I recommend doing this while driving.
Cool Dudes
We meet a lot of people in this business. In fact, this is the best job I've ever had for developing my conversation skills. I am able to get a lot of people to open up and let me know what their lives are like. Sometimes I learn more than I actually want to...like the guy who can't get his girlfriend to pee on him...ICK! Yes, there are a lot of creepers who come to strip clubs, but there are also a lot of amazing people who choose to walk through those tinted doors.
Since I've started working at my current establishment, I've met people from all over the world who do all kinds of jobs. Most of them are more than willing to teach, which is great cause I love to learn. Like the day trader I met, who is helping me working on having another full time income, with minimal time commitment. Or the horror/comedy writer, who gives me tips on how to improve my writing (and for my husband who wants to eventually finish his epic novel). I've also spoken to business owners, doctors, entertainers...the list goes on and on. Who doesn't enjoy decent conversation? Who doesn't enjoy learning something new every day?
So yeah, I gotta deal with a lot more crap than the average Joe...But, I also get a lot more out of this job than I ever have before. Gotta love the Cool Dudes.
Since I've started working at my current establishment, I've met people from all over the world who do all kinds of jobs. Most of them are more than willing to teach, which is great cause I love to learn. Like the day trader I met, who is helping me working on having another full time income, with minimal time commitment. Or the horror/comedy writer, who gives me tips on how to improve my writing (and for my husband who wants to eventually finish his epic novel). I've also spoken to business owners, doctors, entertainers...the list goes on and on. Who doesn't enjoy decent conversation? Who doesn't enjoy learning something new every day?
So yeah, I gotta deal with a lot more crap than the average Joe...But, I also get a lot more out of this job than I ever have before. Gotta love the Cool Dudes.
Welcome to the Real World
When I first started "dancing" I actually didn't "dance" much, I did private parties. Of course, I only worked on the weekends and started to realize quickly in my "normal job" how messed up the whole stripper lifestyle was. **(Side note: private parties are a whole different ball game than working in a club...like day and night)**
Then after working in a club for just a couple weekends, I moved to Maui...where the closest club was an hour plane ride away. To go dance for the weekend I would have had to make a grand just to break even; which is totally doable...But, after two VERY unsuccessful weekends in clubs previously, I knew it was VERY unlikely that I wouldn't. I wasn't willing to risk safety and that much money.
After a year in Maui, I finally moved to a town that has the perfect club for me. There's little bullshit (compared to other establishments) there. I tried for over a month to find a "real job" and was again, unsuccessful. I decided to make dancing my full time job, and hold very part time jobs to keep up the resume.
So here I am...Currently, I'm making enough money to support my husband and I and only working 4 nights a week. I spend my "free time" working 3 other VERY part time jobs (we're talking a few hours of work a week), practicing writing, working on other long term projects, and of course taking care of a household. My life is pretty f*cking easy compared to a lot of people who are working "real jobs".
In response to people who criticize full time dancers for their lack of work ethic, ambition, or whatever: at least we have the time and the funds to pursue other things in life. It's a means to an end, as cliché as that sounds. I spent almost 10 years working in the "real world", and where did it land me??? At the local gentlemen's club ;)
My goals are so focused now, and I don't think I would have been able to hone in on them if I was still working my "real jobs". I spent too much time focusing on those jobs, and not about the fact that my life generally sucked and I had no time.
So this is my world now...and at this point, I couldn't be happier about it.
My goals are so focused now, and I don't think I would have been able to hone in on them if I was still working my "real jobs". I spent too much time focusing on those jobs, and not about the fact that my life generally sucked and I had no time.
So this is my world now...and at this point, I couldn't be happier about it.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Strippers in the News! (pt. 2)
Watch Angry Stripper's interview on Good Morning America
It does upset me that she lost her job, but any stripper should consider it a possibility...especially since she did have such a high profile job. I do agree with her that it was "mean" that they outed her. Yes, I understand why they did it, it is a great story. But I wish media considered the effect they can have on someone's life. I guess there's nothing anyone can do about it now.
So yeah, it's a bummer for her. But she seems like a smart woman who has her sh*t together. She'll probably have no problem figuring out her next step. Sometimes life throws curve balls at you, especially when you are a stripper...it's all part of the bullsh*t.
Hoping she has a book deal in her near future...she was about due anyway. Good luck Sarah and I'll continue to be a loyal follower of your blog!
It does upset me that she lost her job, but any stripper should consider it a possibility...especially since she did have such a high profile job. I do agree with her that it was "mean" that they outed her. Yes, I understand why they did it, it is a great story. But I wish media considered the effect they can have on someone's life. I guess there's nothing anyone can do about it now.
So yeah, it's a bummer for her. But she seems like a smart woman who has her sh*t together. She'll probably have no problem figuring out her next step. Sometimes life throws curve balls at you, especially when you are a stripper...it's all part of the bullsh*t.
Hoping she has a book deal in her near future...she was about due anyway. Good luck Sarah and I'll continue to be a loyal follower of your blog!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Strippers in the News! (pt. 1)
Diary of an Angry Stripper on Good Morning America!
The writer of my favorite stripper blog is scheduled to appear THIS WEEK on Good Morning America...
She was a writer for a newspaper and was 'outed' by another... Now she's all over the news...she's got haters and lovers all over the country. People are dying to post their opinions about our profession.
I tried to access her blog and see that she's blocked it. I wonder what's in store for her? She's already appeared in Maxim, so my thoughts are a book deal. You bet your ass I'm pre-ordering a copy if so!
The writer of my favorite stripper blog is scheduled to appear THIS WEEK on Good Morning America...
She was a writer for a newspaper and was 'outed' by another... Now she's all over the news...she's got haters and lovers all over the country. People are dying to post their opinions about our profession.
I tried to access her blog and see that she's blocked it. I wonder what's in store for her? She's already appeared in Maxim, so my thoughts are a book deal. You bet your ass I'm pre-ordering a copy if so!
Going all the way....
I once had a friend say this to me
"You can do whatever the f*ck you want, just own it"
This is such a great quote, for anything in your life.
Whenever new girls come to the club they always ask for tips or advice. I used to be really eager to hand out advice, but I'm starting to find a lot of times I put effort into someone and then never see them again. So I only really do this on slow nights.
Here are my top 5 tips for new girls just getting started:
1. Move Slowly...and if you think you're moving too slow...go slower.
2. Get stripper heels IMMEDIATELY! You'll save your feet so much agony and you'll instantly make your legs and butt look 100x better.
3. Don't attempt to do pole tricks until you feel comfortable (stumbling, awkward pole tricks are not sexy).
4. Say "Thank You" when people tip you.
5. Look people in the eye and smile.
Number 4 and 5 are so important. I have ignored these tips myself from time to time and realize how crucial they can be.
I want to talk about tip number 5 some more. This is where my friend's advice helps me. A lot of girls have said that they have a hard time looking men in the eyes when they dance for them. I can totally understand why...it can be awkward sometimes. But here's the thing: we're strippers, we're entertainers and it's our JOB to engage the audience...if you look past people, they'll look past you...YOU NEED TO OWN IT!
"You can do whatever the f*ck you want, just own it"
This is such a great quote, for anything in your life.
Whenever new girls come to the club they always ask for tips or advice. I used to be really eager to hand out advice, but I'm starting to find a lot of times I put effort into someone and then never see them again. So I only really do this on slow nights.
Here are my top 5 tips for new girls just getting started:
1. Move Slowly...and if you think you're moving too slow...go slower.
2. Get stripper heels IMMEDIATELY! You'll save your feet so much agony and you'll instantly make your legs and butt look 100x better.
3. Don't attempt to do pole tricks until you feel comfortable (stumbling, awkward pole tricks are not sexy).
4. Say "Thank You" when people tip you.
5. Look people in the eye and smile.
Number 4 and 5 are so important. I have ignored these tips myself from time to time and realize how crucial they can be.
I want to talk about tip number 5 some more. This is where my friend's advice helps me. A lot of girls have said that they have a hard time looking men in the eyes when they dance for them. I can totally understand why...it can be awkward sometimes. But here's the thing: we're strippers, we're entertainers and it's our JOB to engage the audience...if you look past people, they'll look past you...YOU NEED TO OWN IT!
Friday, March 23, 2012
You Know You're a Stripper When...
I found a site which posted "You Know You're a Stripper When..." These are some of my favorites (some I changed slightly) and then a few I came up with myself:
- You know all the words to "Girls, Girls, Girls."
- You are out in public and someone shouts out your stage name.
- After you've watched "Showgirls" for the 4th time, you say to yourself, "God, I really wanna move to Vegas!"
- You buy hand sanitizer and baby wipes in bulk and you don't have any kids.
- You made $300 in a night and are complaining that it was a shitty night.
- You feel totally comfortable being naked with only shoes and a choker on, bent over with your legs spread and looking another female straight in the face and asking, "You can't see my string can you?"
- You could fit a nights' wardrobe in purple Crown Royal liquor bag.
- A pimple on your butt is more of a problem than one on your face.
- You see yourself in a mirror more than you see your own kid.
- You know that sanitizer & wipes along with your boob job is a tax write off.
- You go out with 'regular' friends and feel the need to censor yourself on the dance floor.
- Your pet has glitter in its fur.
- You can judge how much money your work day will wield just by pulling into the parking lot and noticing familiar cars.
- A guy tries the pickup line "Don't I know you?" and you immediately think he must be a customer.
- Your cell phone address screen looks like this: Bambi (Jenny,) Aspen (Sharon,) Diamond (Debra) Raven (Melissa) Desire (Stephanie) Passion (Beth.)
- You get dressed and undressed while not removing your shoes.
- You have to "think" when you introduce yourself.
- Sex kinda turns you off once you get home and sell it to the man you're supposed to.
- Breakfast takes place before you go to sleep.
- You can show up for work 10 min, 40 min, 2 hours, or 3 weeks late and still have a job.
- You gawk more at beautiful women than beautiful men.
- Your wardrobe has more street value than your vehicle.
- You find your periods more tolerable due to the increase of income...men love hormones (aka bigger boobs)!
- You can't remember what color the skin is on your knees and elbows.
- Your biggest accomplishment at work in the past 3 months is learning how to booty pop.
Here's a link to that website if you want to see all of them:
You Know You're a Stripper When...
If only...
For those of you who don't know who Felix Cane is, you need to immediately STOP reading my blog and watch this video (then come back to my blog). She is the world's best pole dancer and sexy as hell. I want to be this good some day...
Saturday, March 17, 2012
Defining Yourself as a Dancer
Art: (n) the quality, production, expression, or realm, according to aesthetic principles, of what is beautiful, appealing, or of more than ordinary significance.
Art: (n) any field using the skills or techniques of art
Bullshit: (n) nonsense, lies, or exaggeration
Exotic dancing truly is a balance of both...I think it depends on each individual dancer to determine how much of their dancing career is Art and how much is Bullshit. In other words, it is what you make it.
I have met girls on each end of the spectrum; the ones who are all about the Bullshit (i.e. drama in and out of the club....some girls will always have some dramatic life event going) and others who are about the Art. Can you guess which ones are more successful? Remember, business is about selling. For a dancer who's an artist, this means your image...what you're all about.
A lot of times girls don't realize that they can determine which types of customers they attract. It's all how you brand yourself. Granted this isn't 100% of the time, but for the most part if you act like a slut, guys who are looking for sluts will find you.
So I guess you have to invent yourself as a dancer. It could be the real you or a fake you. This is when dancing becomes an Art of Bullshitting...and art I am slowly and surely getting better at...
Friday, March 16, 2012
It's all about MEEEE!
I think getting a good picture of the person behind the glitter is key to understanding why they choose to show their boobies to complete strangers for a dollar, sometimes for free, and one of the main reasons we all do it: a couple hundo $$$
I am 25 years old, recently married (I was pretty much single when I danced the first time around), and coming back to the stripping scene. I love my husband more than life itself. He is the coolest mother f*cker I know....and the most handsome too <3
I work at a very PG-13 club. I wouldn't be dancing if I worked in a club where customers were allowed to touch me and I had to grind on people's laps all night long. We make most of our money on stage...which I LOVE! Dancing is one of my biggest passions in life.
I am not a very good "hustler"*...though some nights I know I do it unintentionally. I am the sort of stripper that walks away from a customer who's being an ass (even if he's paying). I never do private dances** or stage dances*** I never lie about my relationship status either. Sometimes I know I lose money because of this...but sometimes this has actually helped me get more.
I am however very good at looking seductive when I dance. I have been dancing my whole life and I view the stage purely as a performance.
I am working on developing my "hustling" skills and I'm getting close to figuring out what works form me. Right now I'm not making what most strippers would consider "good money", but to the average Joe it's no chump change.
*Hustler: a girl who makes guys open their wallets
**Private Dances: in our club there are no lap dances. A private dance is done in a visible corner of the club where girls are 3 feet from the customer
***Stage Dances: a modified lap dance done on stage. The guy sits on his hands and hooks his feet around the bottom of the chair.
I am 25 years old, recently married (I was pretty much single when I danced the first time around), and coming back to the stripping scene. I love my husband more than life itself. He is the coolest mother f*cker I know....and the most handsome too <3
I work at a very PG-13 club. I wouldn't be dancing if I worked in a club where customers were allowed to touch me and I had to grind on people's laps all night long. We make most of our money on stage...which I LOVE! Dancing is one of my biggest passions in life.
I am not a very good "hustler"*...though some nights I know I do it unintentionally. I am the sort of stripper that walks away from a customer who's being an ass (even if he's paying). I never do private dances** or stage dances*** I never lie about my relationship status either. Sometimes I know I lose money because of this...but sometimes this has actually helped me get more.
I am however very good at looking seductive when I dance. I have been dancing my whole life and I view the stage purely as a performance.
I am working on developing my "hustling" skills and I'm getting close to figuring out what works form me. Right now I'm not making what most strippers would consider "good money", but to the average Joe it's no chump change.
*Hustler: a girl who makes guys open their wallets
**Private Dances: in our club there are no lap dances. A private dance is done in a visible corner of the club where girls are 3 feet from the customer
***Stage Dances: a modified lap dance done on stage. The guy sits on his hands and hooks his feet around the bottom of the chair.
Please Welcome KiKi to the Main Stage!
After dancing on and off for the past 2 years I am finally starting my blog. I am a little bit of a
newbie to the club scene and most of my experience thus far has been in private parties. I have
recently started at a club that I love and plan to be there for the next few years as I figure out
how the rest of my professional life will play out.
Throughout this blog I'll be sharing with you my experiences...the good and the bad. Also, I want to share some of my crazy stories from my early days of stripping...private parties are
a very different experience from working in clubs...I feel that some of those stories are worth
sharing with the world (such as the mother and daughter girl-on-girl show I witnessed...PUKE!)
I hope you all enjoy reading this blog as much as I enjoy the art of exotic dancing...the bullshit is amusing as well <3
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)