You Know You're a Stripper When...

I found a site which posted "You Know You're a Stripper When..." These are some of my favorites (some I changed slightly) and then a few I came up with myself:

• You know all the words to "Girls, Girls, Girls."
• You are out in public and someone shouts out your stage name.
• After you've watched "Showgirls" for the 4th time, you say to yourself, "God, I really wanna move to Vegas!"
• You buy hand sanitizer and baby wipes in bulk and you don't have any kids.
• You made $300 in a night and are complaining that it was a shitty night.
• You feel totally comfortable being naked with only shoes and a choker on, bent over with your legs spread and looking another female straight in the face and asking, "You can't see my string can you?"
• You could fit a nights' wardrobe in purple Crown Royal liquor bag.
• A pimple on your butt is more of a problem than one on your face.
• You see yourself in a mirror more than you see your own kid.
• You know that sanitizer & wipes along with your boob job is a tax write off.
• You go out with 'regular' friends and feel the need to censor yourself on the dance floor.
• Your pet has glitter in its fur.
• You can judge how much money your work day will wield just by pulling into the parking lot and noticing familiar cars.
• A guy tries the pickup line "Don't I know you?" and you immediately think he must be a customer.
• Your cell phone address screen looks like this: Bambi (Jenny,) Aspen (Sharon,) Diamond (Debra) Raven (Melissa) Desire (Stephanie) Passion (Beth.)
• You get dressed and undressed while not removing your shoes.
• You have to "think" when you introduce yourself.
• Sex kinda turns you off once you get home and sell it to the man you're supposed to.
• Breakfast takes place before you go to sleep.
• You can show up for work 10 min, 40 min, 2 hours, or 3 weeks late and still have a job.
• You gawk more at beautiful women than beautiful men.
• Your wardrobe has more street value than your vehicle.

Kiki's additions:

• You find your periods more tolerable due to the increase of income...men love hormones (aka bigger boobs)!
• You can't remember what color the skin is on your knees and elbows.
• Your biggest accomplishment at work in the past 3 months is learning how to booty pop.

I wanna hear your guys' now!

Here's a link to that website if you want to see all of them:
You Know You're a Stripper When...